i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
