So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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