literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
