At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
