so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
