I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
