let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You're like the curious george of whores
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
