Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
