everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Randomize
