my text book just quoted the cookie monster
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
