Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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