Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
