Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
