I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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