i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
