if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So drunk its hurt
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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