You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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