I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
