He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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