Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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