in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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