I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
