You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
