Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
