What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You made out with two different species that night
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
