you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
