I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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