smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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