Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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