My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
