sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
