Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
