We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need mimosas to revive my soul
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
