it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
