you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
