DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
foreskin is a definite game changer
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
