does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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