Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
