I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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