walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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