mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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