y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
