A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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