I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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