....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
