Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am midnight drunk by noon
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
