I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Vodka?
Forever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
