Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The best revenge is premature balding
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize