Need sex. Gaining weight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
