Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
